blinkered

Sometimes I get caught up by myself, comparing myself to others, my looks, my style, my interests, my friends, my face, my ability it's so hard to pick myself up from it. I can't speak on behalf of anyone else but myself. I doubt everything about myself even down to the way I talk.

I don't know why I do this it's not that often as it used to be but it still happens. Its a battle of confidence, being happy within myself and being happy for others instead of thinking I should be where they are now, wearing what they're wearing, not eating, talking to their friends, posting tweets how 'I'm walking home alone at 6am'. I suppose this is how they deal with there lives, not everything everybody says is the truth. Retreating into my shell isn't really a good way of dealing with it, but neither is walking alone at 6am.

No ones perfect it's fact, its just waking up and realising I only have one life and its what I make it. But peoples opinions of me matter, so I makes me doubt, compare and so it starts again. Its almost as if I need someone to tell me no one cares, do what you want everybody else does.

Do they? Do you? How do you wake up realise you're worthy of living your own life, not what you think somebody else's is doing?

I watched this and it helped. She helps. Shes helping everyone.

  

Another issue that's really bugging me is sexuality. Just because I don't sloth about over boys everybody else fancys doesn't mean I'm incapable of a relationship, it just means I'm private. Just because I admire what someone is wearing doesn't mean I fancy them. Don't judge me just because I see you for what you really are. Which is usually an ordinary boy, with a quiff and too much product, wearing chinos wrong and shopping in Hollister. Use you're brains for conversation, not bragging about how many girls you pulled in town that night. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz